How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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