went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
