I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
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