what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Randomize
