The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
