Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
