i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
