quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
