I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize