enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
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