Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
