Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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