Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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