So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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