Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
