So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Randomize
