not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
