I could have mohawked her pubes.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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