I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
