I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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