It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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