I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Randomize
