He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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