I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
everyone is single if you try hard enough
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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