I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
