I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
