when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
