Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
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