The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
