Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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