Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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