he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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