I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
