i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
