my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
