The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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