it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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