omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
