she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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