I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
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