when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I will pee on everything he values.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
