Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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