party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Do vagina's smell?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
