i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize