I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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