Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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