that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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