Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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