They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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