there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
