First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
