please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
