I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
