i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
