It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
