they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Randomize
