Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
