Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I have post one night stand depression
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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