my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Randomize