I'm eating all of the evidence.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
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